Thursday, May 5, 2011

'Glee'-Cap: Lady Gaga, Barbra Streisand Make The Gleeks Shed Insecurities

With Kurt back at McKinley, we're worried about the fate of 'Klaine.'
By Jim Cantiello

A scene from the "Born This Way" episode of "Glee"
Photo: Adam Rose/FOX

This week's special 90-minute "Born This Way" episode of "Glee" kind of didn't need to be 90 minutes long, and to be honest, we were a little taken aback by the way the show seemed to equate insecurities about being gay with insecurities about wearing glasses. But if that what it takes for them to do a flash-mob scene featuring "Barbra Streisand," we'll take it. Sing along with the lyrics below.

Come on, Gleeks!
Do you believe in plot?
Well, I got something to say about it,
And it goes a little something like this.

[To the tune of "Born This Way"]

Rachel gets smacked, has a broken nose,
Considers having a rhinoplasty.
It sparks a 90-minute episode
Of loving who you're meant to be.

She gets talked out of it when Finn reacts,
And a flash mob says, "Girl, it's a mistake."
That shopping mall scene was so much damn fun.
Hold up a minute, is that Drake?! [Shot of the dude on the escalator that looks a lot like Drake]

Kurt's back at McKinley, yay!
Gives New Directions cache.
"Glee" 's on the right track, babe,
Just don't forget about Klaine.
I won't dare tell you a lie
When Blaine sang Keane, oh, I cried.
"Glee" 's on the right track, babe,
Just don't forget about Klaine.

Oooh, Karovsky's super gay,
Checking out Sam's bootay,
Just don't you forget about Klaine!
Blaine's mouth opens all the way
Holy crap is his jaw OK?
Just don't you forget about Klaine!

"Glee" was a drag
Over prom queens.
No need for this to be 90!

"Glee" don't worry, I'm here to stay,
Even if I dis your way,
I love you, don't forget about Klaine!

"Unpretty" with Quinn Fabray,
That duet made me hit replay!
I love you, don't forget about Klaine!

"Glee" was a drag
Over prom queens.
Santana was so frickin' mean.
"I'll be your beard to win a crown
And in the process take Quinn down!"

Lauren finds Quinn's secret past:
She used to have a giant ass,
Which according to "Glee" is one in the same
As being flamboyantly gay.

[Jim rants.] Seriously, "Glee"? You're going to equate Mr. Shue's "butt chin" and Artie's poor eyesight, and Finn's inability to dance with homosexuality? And did anyone else find it weird that they sang "Born This Way" but cut out the verse about actually being gay? I know I'm hard on you every week, "Glee," but I can't help it. I guess I was just born that way.

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